Wanting To Learn About Witches?
Contributed by Wrath Warbone
What Is A Witch?
Not knowing anything about witchcraft, except the use of broomsticks to fly around on, on Halloween, I began to do some research...
I tried reading up on them in the public library, but I had to quit because it gave me warts. I asked my friends, but they invited me to church. I wrote a letter to my congressman, but he needed a campaign contribution and then he could authorize a study.
I asked my college professor, but she gave me a copy of The Crucible and taught me about McCarthyism. I went to visit my local coven, but got lost in the forest. So getting to the bottom of this has been a challenge.
Maybe you can help with the following questions:
How many witches can ride the same broomstick at the same time?
Does adding more witches to a broomstick make it go faster?
Who was the first witch to circumnavigate the world?
Does she still hold the record?
Do the witches have a space program?
Do they make their own broomsticks or do they come from China?
Do they double as cleaning ladies?
Do their flying brooms sweep the floors for them, too?
Do witches really eat a lot of pumpkin pie?
Do they bake their pumpkin pies themselves or do they order out?
Or do they eat out?
What do they eat besides pumpkin pie?
Who do they eat besides delivery men?
Do they tip the delivery man or turn him into a pumpkin and eat him, too?
What made their skin turn green?
Do they get better with age?
What kind of grades did they get in poetry writing?
Do they pose in the nude?
Why do the warts on their noses get bigger every year?
Do they prefer PCs or Macs?
Do they have an affiliate marketing program?
Where do they go to learn hat making?
What do they think of Internet Dating?
I am sure there are many more good questions I could ask about witches but do I really want to know? After all I am a married man. Not that my wife could not stand a little competition, and a few cooking lessons, but toad warts are an endangered species and I don't trouble from the Audubon Association. I do like pumpkin pie, but not with green whipped cream. And I don't want things growing in it either. I want to eat it all myself.
So, if you know the answers to any of the above questions, or got any good ones yourself, let me know. My broomstick will be in your neighborhood soon.
Wrath Warbone is a writer who's casual writings are posted at http://www.triond.com/users/Wrath+Warbone
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